And so the sun sets on Southern California

Perhaps you remember Mama Goose.

I thought she was gone when we first got back, but the 2nd time I fed the flock, I saw her barely even limping, missing the nasty fishing line that had been knotted around her ankle for 2 months or more, and looking BETTER THAN EVER!

What a nice way to end our visit to Southern California.

Where next?
Well, we left the RV stored in SoCal, we're packing up the house in Tahoe, packing up a trailer with our immediate belongings, and headed to freezing hecking cold Duluth, MN.

Let me check something.
Ah, yes. It is 25 degrees there right now.
And that is a little warm for this season!

YES I AM DEAD HECKING SERIOUS.

Chilliin...

Watching football, after holiday shopping, birthday party planning, you know, just kicking it family style for as long as we can drag the holidays out for.

In our family, the holidays end at the Super Bowl, and all fitness regimes resume that second week in February.

So we have that going for us too.

Hope your
1. holidays were awesome
2. mistletoe worked
3. fantasy football teams won
4. shared a hot new year's kiss with your lovah
5. plans for 2010 go off with a bang!

A recent beach score...5 whole sand dollars!
We are so excited - we have big plans for them!


We have a little bit of Christmas outside the RV. We will decorate when we get to Tahoe, but this little guy has been getting us into the Christmas spirit despite the rain and the mud lately.

Our Christmas porch.

Charlie and I got a babysitter (or 3) and had date night with adult beverages.
The girls had an awesome time with Mimi.
Madee and Mimi are BFFs.
Mimi is teaching Madee how to be cool.
Madee has a few tricks up her own sleeve.

Date night.
Cocktails.
Squeee!

I really really really love my job.

Puddles

Despite the usual lack of rain around here, we were swimming in it for a day or two.

I just thought everybody should know that Mama Goose did not, in fact lose her foot. Charlie is a drama queen and he was just starting rumors. You wouldn't believe how fast it flew around the internet and the next thing you know Mama Goose's lawyers are having us amend our previous post and let everybody know that it was only speculation and we never intended for so much media attention to be brought on such a nice goose with two whole feet.

Even if one of them is a little gimpy.

I have friends here. I joined up with 2 of my mommy friends and their kids at the library for story time today, had a lunch play date and an afternoon playdate at the park.

And then of course I have the goose.

Seriously. Ask Charlie. We are friends.

Gotta run. Everyone is asleep and I'm totally jealous.

Oh the Weather Outside is Weather

I am mush. There are moments in my day when I really do have so many things to say and so many articulate ways of saying it, only I can't get to my computer, or I have no online access, or I can't even find a flippin pen and some paper.

And once the stars align and I actually have a chance, I have no words, no thoughts, nothing that can really successfully get out of me.

I am so disorganized and even when I pull it together, I still look so disheveled wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday and these dogs barking incessantly at anything that moves just makes me look even more disheveled.

I miss Bela.

I miss anyone who could possibly successfully and happily take these kids from me for a few hours on a regular basis.

I miss having a big house filled with toys and areas for independent playtime and I can't believe I used to get so mad at the phone calls that would knock me off line when now I have too much on my plate to even be online if I had regular access at all.


For those of you who don't know, my doctor was nice enough to prescribe some Prozac for me, because, well, I needed it.

I don't like to say things like that out loud because I feel like it is an admission of defeat, and I hate feeling defeated.

Which is just another reason I agreed to the Prozac.

So I am actually feeling SO MUCH better than I would if I didn't have it. Thanks Dr. K.

Loss is huge. It is just hard to keep your self charging forward when you have lost something, be it someone close to you, or a job. Or a house. Or even just loss of sleep.

And although it used to be easy to crawl up in a ball and sleep it off or withdraw to some quiet place to sort things through, there is no place like that now. There is no quiet, there is no sleep, there is no moment alone to figure anything out.

I feel so behind in dishes or laundry or cleaning or writing or photos or, god I can't even get everyone out of the door and into the car in the morning fast enough.

I can't get diapers changed fast enough, food readied in time, I have all these beings literally SCREAMING at me to do all these things for them and, well, it isn't easy.


Madee's new favorite movie is "Annie".
And we sing "Hard Knock Life" and "Tomorrow" all the time.
Even if tomorrow is only a day away, it seems to be closing in on me too soon. When I sing the song at the top of my lungs it is uplifting. When I lay down to go to sleep at night, and sometimes I really wonder why I bother, since we won't be sleeping much anyway, well the truth is I know that tomorrow will be filled with my inability to meet everybody's needs, and the resultant tantrums/disappointment/misery.

Only, always , a day away.

And Christmas is what, 20 days away?

Way too few tomorrows for me to prepare for that.


Although Carol Burnett is hysterical, and her drunken, little girl hating Ms. Hannigan makes me laugh every time. And she makes me feel better about how I actually do relate to Madee and Ida.

Plus now I can tell the kids to stop crying or they get to go live with Ms. Hannigan.

Madee would go for it, too, she loves the scenes in the orphanage with all the singing and dancing little girls.

All that said, I actually don't act all surly and crappy all the time - I can't! I have little kids! And when they aren't screaming at me, we are trying our damnedest to enjoy ourselves and play so hard that they are worn out enough to sleep.

Well it is almost 7 AM so I have to stop the "feeling and talking" now and start trying to keep up with everybody's daily schedule and be a good mom.

It's my job, and although quite thankless and underpaid, it is the best job I have ever had and I want to make good with my bosses.

Even if they are so hard to please.

I hope you enjoyed the many shells and treasures I found at low tide the other day. And then when I cleaned the RV the other day I found this, a little something from home that somehow makes me feel better.

Meanwhile, I will be picking up my chin, and grinning, and saying, "tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow, oh, look, you are already here."

*************************************************************************************

** IMPORTANTE!**

If you have my phone number, please DO NOT call me to talk about this. If I wanted to talk about it with you, I would have called you, this right here is my way of talking about it, and that needs to be it. Respect me enough to know it was hard enough for me to admit how I feel in the first place and just let me go live with the guilt of those feelings.

Coming In Hot

Today we left the Oceanside Harbor and docked up to the Tucker house for a night while Uncle Cousin Booty is still in town.

We will be heading to Lake Guajome park for the next week, and it is a really pretty little park with so many things to do and it is only a few miles away from here. We are pretty excited, in fact we went there today to play at the playground so it is familiar to Madee when we arrive.

As we were swinging on the swingset we saw two SPCA vehicles come tearing through the parking lot and past the campground, and as Charlie said, "They were coming in HOT!" Madee and I crossed the playground to see what was happening, and were surprised to get roped into a sting.

The officers had us feed bread to about 200 hundred ducks and geese so they could try and grab one of them that had some fishing line around her foot.

It was terribly exciting and although they didn't catch her, we got to learn about all the teamwork involved, and how they had been trying to catch her for about 2 months, which is precisely why they needed Madee and myself to feed them bread, because this one goose knows who they are now.

Oh yeah. And the generator is now fully functional thanks to brilliant Dad, and now dry camping is actually just like plugging in.

AND I went to the mall today with Auntie Teri, did some major retail therapy and got a new Mom uniform. Which is awesome because I so badly needed some new clothes, and I was very smart about what I bought, so I am really excited about wearing it all.

My favorite item is a matching hat and scarf. It is TO DIE FOR, and will be featured sometime very soon, I'm sure.

Also exciting, our friends Stacey and John are having their baby.

Like right now.

Guess who is doing the newborn pictures?
AND I have my first on-the-road photo shoot here in Oceanside for a family that we met at the park last week.

Ida is sitting up really good by herself, she got a new tooth, and Madee is up to 2 and 3 word phrases, is a trooper in the scary ocean waves, and gave up bottles all just in this last week.

Life is just mach 5 with kids - every day seems so long, but they flip by so quickly.

We found some crazy cool stuff at low tide yesterday, alos to be featured once photographed. I could sit and sift through sand and shells at low tide for hours.

AND Dad is a surfer now.

I think we are settling in to our new selves quite nicely, and we are glad we get to do it all together as a family.

Now I must set my mind to decorating the RV for Christmas. Madee knows who Santa Claus is and I am pretty excited even though I don't know where we will be for it...

Gotta run. I smell turkey enchiladas!

Hook Ups

Tonight we are driving the RV down to the harbor, where there are all sorts of delightful things, but not hook ups.

I get spoiled plugged into Auntie Teri's backyard. I have even been sleeping in a real bed with no steel plate, and doing dishes when I like with nice warm water.

I also like running into the house all the time for whatever.

It is great to spread out.


Every morning when we wake up all efforts are to get ourselves to the beach anyway, so we are excited about going to stay there this week. Charlie can roll out of bed and into the surf, and we can roll right onto the playground.

The harbor camp is a parking lot. And I don't mean it is like a parking lot, because it really is just a parking lot.

It will actually be nice to have our house right there by the beach, because we could play in the sand all day, and now we probably will.

Madee likes her new bird friends.

Harbor Line Up

I already like it there.

And I already miss it here.

I heart Arizona

We popped in Raising Arizona for our last night in Phoenix, and every time I watch that movie I fall in love with Holly Hunter.

She is just so hysterical in that scene when Hi finally gets her a baby and she breaks down crying so hard choking on the words "I love him so much!"

Before we came here, that movie was all I knew about Arizona.

These were the clouds as we left.

It looks like a heart to me.

We actually found quite a few rocks that look like hearts, too. So I am guessing it was a theme to look for the love in people and places and things.

I got no love for this guy.
He gave me the heebs and I just had to share him with you.
I am pretty sure he shoots lasers and we could have seen one at any time.
Apparently also quite the sting.
Bleagh.



And I have seen Zeus run right into a tree while tracking a frisbee so we didn't throw it around these guys.

I think this is where toothpicks come from.


We are now in Oceanside for the weekend, which is awesome because the girls feel quite at home here. We just pulled right up and plugged in to the house so it is pretty awesome that now when we come visit we bring our own room.

Since we are parked on the street we can't slide the sides out, so it is a tight squeeze.

Of course we are just so happy to be able to hang out in a house that we don't need to go in there for much anyway.

Scenes from the RV.