Ummm, WHUT?

I happened upon this scene the other day in a quaint little row of birdhouses that the kids use as a "dollhouse backdrop" for teeny figurines.

First of all, do you see the play-do in the church? Madee shoved it in there and now I can't get it out. But of course I was more disturbed by Ernie.

Which of my mafia kids decided that this was his time to go?

And pushed from the bell tower of a church? That's DRAMA, folks.


Ariel view from pretend helicopters on the scene.


You need not worry, Ernie was rescued and taken directly to a small medical camp that was set up for emergencies, since we don't have a hospital birdhouse yet.

Obama, Narwhals, and Turkey Dogs, OH MY!

There really is NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

I almost HATE talking about my dreams, because, let's face it. Even without a peek into my twisted little uncontrollable dreamworld, people think I am, I don't know, weird?

Well lately my dreams have been action packed and chock full of zombies and narwhals and me picking fights with Obama because he won't talk to me at some party, when let's face it, he should be BEGGING me to be his head of security detail.

Or at least give me one of those little headsets thingys.

But I ramble off to the side sometimes.

The other night we came home from our second day in a row at the beach and I was so tired I went straight to bed. No dinner, no TV, no movie, no wine, straight. to. bed.

And one of my less creative dreams of the evening went like this:

I dreamed that Boom Boom ate hot dogs for dinner. But he didn't choose the open pack of of turkey dogs in the fridge, OH NO, he opened the brand new package I had just bought that day.

And I was all, "DUDE! why don't you look around the fridge for the old hot dogs? You need BRAND NEW hot dogs? That is messed up."

And then I proceeded to dream about swimming with the narwhals (not on purpose, mind you) and bullying Obama at a house party.

Can I just interject that I can't write these dreams? I am totally taken hostage by my weird little brain and I am only along for the ride.

Anyhoo, I obviously, eventually woke up.

And that next day as I was fixing lunch for the girls, I go to grab the hot dogs and lo, the new package (I really had been to the grocery the day before) had been opened and 2 of those turkey dogs were missing. After further investigation, I find the old package of hot dogs with, yes, 2 turkey dogs sitting there.

Deja friggity vu.

I run to the back of the house and rush into Boom Boom's office and say,"I TOTALLY had a dream last night that you ate hot dogs out of the NEW PACKAGE when we still had hot dogs left in the OLD PACKAGE and when I woke up this morning? I found out my dream was TRUE!"

Then I asked him, "I mean, I went to bed last night, right? I didn't get up and eat hot dogs, did I?"

And he was all, "Nope."

And I was all, "Well you better watch yourself, buddy, because obviously I am psychic and see everything you are doing, even in my sleep."

And he was all, "CREEEEEPY."

I know, right?

So i guess I should go ahead and write a letter of apology to the president in case that whole little "misunderstanding" may have actually happened too.

I Had Him at "GO GO GO!"

The other night Boom Boom and I had the most romantic impromptu evening since our wedding night. I guess the stars aligned or something, because with 2 little hellions in the house constantly clamoring for whatever it is they think they need at the moment. (Children are SO selfish.)

Anyhoo, we were reminiscing while watching "The Hangover" which is now in my Top 3 Favorite Movies category, and there is this one part in the movie that reminded me of our second first date.

Boom Boom and I met on Myspace and so we did lots of communicating over the computer, especially since the day after we actually met he had to go to Mexico for like, a month.

During that month, I had been dating this other guy, and Boom Boom? He had some dead end relationships with loose ends all over the country and one of them came to visit for the 4th of July.

It so happened that he dropped her off at the airport on the 6th of July, and the guy I was dating went out of town, and I asked him to come over and hang out.

I also might mention here, that he brought back gifts from Mexico, including a killer red Mexican blanket, and a teeny sombrero for my teeny little dog, Ono.

Precious.

So we are hanging out with my Birth Mom and my Step Dad in the hot tub yucking it up drinking beers and of course, the old people bagged out early. I had only just moved into that house in February, so the whole step dad thing was a pretty new relationship for me too.

Anyhoo, we ended up going back to Boom Boom's place to drink his whiskey, and I ended up spending the night. (Dad, NOTHING happened! I SWEAR! But we were a little too tipsy to drive home, and I PROMISE he was a TOTAL gentleman.)

So the next morning, I had to be at work by 10, and I didn't have a car, so Boom Boom drove me home in his creepy molester style van. We were already starting to like each other a lot, and were joking and laughing when he pulled closer to my step dad's house, and I spied my step dad OUT IN THE FRONT YARD.

Boom Boom puts the brakes on and I get all military voiced and yell, "There's NORM! GO GO GO!" with military hand motions and Boom Boom, SHOCKED, floors the gas, the van speeds up and away we go, all breathless from the excitement of it all.

He turns to me and says, "Where are we going?"

And I, laughing maniacally, say "Oh, I don't care just make a loop and then drop me off in my driveway."

He thought I was CaRayZee.

And seriously, it was the hugest spectacle at 8:00 AM in our super quiet neighborhood in lovely listen to the leaves drop South Lake Tahoe. Especially considering the windows of the van (and every house on the block) were wide open.

But looking back, he totally admits, I had him at "GO GO GO."

Tuesdays are for Memories

When Charlie and I first met, I heard him on the phone with a friend of his. Apparently his friend had recently moved to Portland, and had put a personal ad on craigslist.com.

Being the goofinator I am, I thought, "What a GREAT opportunity to mess with his friends!"

I frantically searched for his ad, and sent him this message in reply, along with a picture of me and Charlie's dog, a dog he had known for like 11 years. (since she was a pup)
**************************************
hi

i like long walks on the beach
candlelight dinners
and naked bocce ball

umm

that's pretty much all i like

i like my dog alot

my last several relationships lasted
about 4 minutes
but i still got paid for the whole hour

i've only had the crabs two times

i really can't wait to meet you
(i do not currently have the crabs)

***************************************
I know, classy, right?
Literally, Charlie had just gotten off of the phone with him, updating him about his new life, location and love life.

I soon received this reply:
***************************************

Hey,,, I got a laugh out of your
email! But I really have to ask about
your dog, its weird but she looks just like my buddy's dog from college,
that I help raise and still see alot of (he's buying a house in tahoo right
now). What is she/he? Blue heeler???

***************************************
she's a mutt or something
my dog rocks
i found her in some indian reservation
passing thru arizona
she makes smelly farts
that's why i named her zoie

where is tahoo?
it sounds delicious!
**************************************
I know, I am *kinda* a jerk, right?
That was actually the true story of how Charlie got Zoie.
**************************************

Ok Youve got to be shittin me,
and this is truely no lie...Charlie (my
college buddy) got his dog from flagstaff AZ on the Rez. and No kiddin
around,,,Her name is Zoe,,,,so now I presume You are Charlies girlfriend???

**************************************
Poor dude. I love how you can see him figure it out while he was typing. By the time he actually met me, he was standing up for Charlie in our wedding.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess it was just *this* sort of thing that made him fall for me.

Oh yeah I am FULL of shenanigans...