Who Knew? A Little Organization Does Go A Long Way!

If I had a dollar for every childless jerkhole that has ever told me what they would do to address whatever situation I have with my kids I don't know how much money I'd have but I would still probably just shove it into the mouth of said jerkhole to shut their face up.

I am not angry.

I am just saying.

Hey, JERKHOLE, my (or any other) kids haven't been wearing and weighing and waking YOU for the last 3 years. So you DON'T actually know what you would do, because you have never had your body/mind/emotions endure the stress of infancy, and toddlerhood, with an extra helping of infancy and toddlerhood on top.

If you really were sporting my flip flops, dragging ass, trying to see the forest for the trees, you'd stop telling me what you'd do, and actually try to do something helpful. Like get me a Starbucks or something.

I mean, until the kids are 2, a mom is just trying to survive with a little of her dignity/individuality/style in tact, much less make it look appealing for others to consider procreation.

Yesterday, when some Edward Jones advisor came to the door (old school, hunh) and was greeted with my braless, half asleep, mostly agitated demeanor, and then 2 crazy half naked marker covered children come running out followed by 2 crazy loud barking dogs who then proceeded to run the circle from the front door to the carport door back through the house playing some sort of cave-child "Cowboys and Indians" (can you SAY that anymore?) hooting and hollering and barking and circling and....

I start tapping my foot when I get anxious/nervous/irritable and during a good tapppa tappa tapping yesterday, Boom Boom was all "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN!" but not quite like that.

And I was all ::stink eye:: and ::silent treatment:: because I am a negotiator.

And then I pulled out that last stretch of the race after you hit the wall. The peaceful, methodic, prepared for the inevitable pace that gets you to the finish line.

The kids got fed and washed and put to bed.

I went to get a movie from the redbox. 1 for us to enjoy and 1 for the kids in the morning. I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, put away EVERYTHING in the kitchen, made sandwiches and snacks for an outing and cut up 2 blocks of cheese to shave time off of later cheese cravings. Boom Boom got the trash and recycles out, I prepped some bottles and midnite water for the kids, got the coffee set and ready to go.

I cleaned and prepped and organized until I couldn't even find anything left to do and the whole time I just felt lighter and lighter and lighter because people?

I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

But this morning? Coffee ready, kids watching "Horton Hears a Who" on the couch with milks and blankies and no screaming or fighting or general ruckus making?

FEEL that Thursday. I made you my girlfriend. Like in the prison girlfriend sense of the word.

Wordless Wednesday

Christmas is Coming

And Target has the cutest little dresses for little girls.
I was walking around the other day wondering what we should wear for Christmas pictures and these two made me want them.
BAD.

I would totally wear this one myself if only it came in my size.

But truthfully? I doubt we will be doing anything so fancy and formal when they are growing so fast they barely have enough clothes to fit them anyway.

And with it actually being COLD here in Florida?
Well, let's just say that means even more clothes that must be searched for, found and purchased.

::sigh::


Oh but what joy I had when I ran into these beauties?

Um, yes they are for adult women.
Move over yoga pants. Mama's got a new uniform NOW!

First Date

I mean, c'mon, she is almost 3! (3! GAAAH!)
And of course we have been places together, just the 2 of us, of course we have had outings and lunch or whatever.

But Saturday night? Madee and I went on our first little date to eat pizza at a restaurant and watch Megamind on the big screen. It was her 1st big screen movie. And now I feel a trend coming on.

First of all, I slept ALOT this weekend. And as I woke up from my super slumberous afternoon nap on Saturday, Boom Boom was all, "Why don't you take Madee to a movie?"

I looked up the best options, times, and locations, made mental notes and we were out the door.


Here we are driving to the Mellow Mushroom and singing "Let's Go To the Movies" from Annie.
My hair is a hot mess that must go in to the salon for some taming.


We were actually on this "alligator" (how Madee says escalator) earlier in the day, but how cute are our toes together?


Madee wanted pizza for her date dinner and what a yummy cheesy choice that turned out to be. Let us pause for a moment as I copy down some of the things I was thinking as she colored her kid's menu and I wrote in my spiral notebook.

"Do you remember ever saying, "One day, when I have my own kids..." I recall, but not specifically. In fact, I don't think I have been doing child appropriate events/outings/activities for quite some time. I mean, when you wait until your 30's to have a baby (or two) I think you kind of move away from doing child related things. Or even "family friendly" things.

Things I didn't realize about having kids:

#1 I look WAY older than I expected. Even though even my own parents only looked really young in the WAY young pictures of me, I just never considered myself looking like an "old mom".

#2 I don't do everything different than my parents did. I remember being "up in arms" and writing lists to my older self of things I would let my kids do because I wanted to do that, but wasn't allowed. NEWSFLASH. My parents were often right.

#3 My "inner child" became my "outer child" when I had kids. I get so much joy from watching and participating in their "firsts", and remembering what it is like to have raw experiences. Like right now, my "inner child" is sitting right in front of me eating pizza and getting excited for her first "big girl" movie and freaking cool and sweet and well behaved and fun is she?

Even if she repeats a sentence 8 times in a row or spills her Sprite EVERYWHERE or, drunk on Sprite and a Movie Date, laughs a little too loudly a little too often? This is the best date ever and I can't wait until next week when she gets to do it with her Dad.

I took her to the Aloma Cinema and Grill, an old drafthouse that you used to go see movies and drink beer and smoke cigarettes and I have seen like 100 movies there. I thought it was going to be way cooler than a regular theater, and boy was I right. not only do they have ice cream and chairs and tables, but 100 other kids and parents were there too, so it was like the hugest party out Madee has EVER been to.

And Megamind? Adorable. I mean, I LOVE Tina Fey and Will Ferrel so that was a given, but Madee loved it too, and she watched the whole thing without 1 freak out.

It was AWESOME. Can't wait until it is my turn again!

Wordless Wednesday

Seriously folks, Wordless Wednesday? I think not. This kid has me speechless.

This kid can talk. She will repeat back to you anything you say. With conviction and perfection. She says so many words and strings them together to make up to 4 or 5 word sentences. She knows what it is. WHATEVER it is. And it will leave you in awe. I know this because I go around picking people's jaws up off the floor every other minute.

She is clearly brilliant.
But she doesn't yet reason.

In fact? She gets unreasonably mad. She throws herself to the floor. The theatrics with this one? Good Lord get your trophies out, people, because this little girl is going home with every one of them.

Also? I can't keep a diaper on her self proclaimed "POOPBOTT". And every time I turn around she is butt naked, saying "POOPBUTT" and I am all, "EDEN! WHERE IS YOUR DIAPER?!" and she goes and gets it, and I say, "But you gotta wear it on your POOPBOTT!" And she holds it up to her waist all, "Like this?"

YES LIKE THAT EDEN.

Sometimes I put these kids down at the same time and try to take a nap. And yesterday I am drifting off to sleep and then I hear "POOPBOTT POOPBOTT POOPBOTT" coming down the hall, and I am all, "I just put her down, that's not funny Boom Boom." And then I am all, "Boom Boom?"

::cue freaky scary movie music::

"Duh? Am I still dreaming?"

But no, not dreaming, Eden is standing right in front of me. And Boom Boom hasn't moved from inside his office, ear glued to the phone.

Scary, right?

Hold me.

I Know What You Are Thinking...

Somebody went grocery shopping!
Alas, no, I have recycled all of the grocery boxes and bins for the last few weeks and taped them back shut and thrown them on the shelves for my kids to do their own grocery shopping!

They love it!

AND since I found two little plastic grocery carts at a garage sale? We play $500 Shopping SPREE!
Something I love about Florida? You can see a rainbow almost EVERY day!

Hey slider!



Same face.
My gorgeous.
Too pretty.

AAAAND out!

Halloween Sunday

Trick or Treating is serious business. Short skirts, sneakers. Whatever keeps them from tripping all over themselves for the candy hunt.

Garden variety fairy.

Flapper Fairy

Somebody may have found her calling. This collecting candy door to door thing?
She's got it DOWN.

Trick or Treat!

Yummy treats!

Spookalicious

Boom Boom's Trick or Treating gear: Mad Hatter. He wasn't sure what his character sounded or acted like. So I told him "I think he sounds most like the Swedish Chef."

Um, people just leave candy on the front porch? YES!

Scary houses?

NO PROBLEM!

Oh look! The elusive MOM sighting! We got lots of nice words from candy dispensers for dressing up with the kids.

Spook-o-lantern
Boom Boom dresses like this every time he goes out on the town.

That mustache really got around.




We have a good time. Thank goodness Halloween is over, but all of the sudden I am feeling stressed about Christmas!