I cannot even tell you how much I have to say right now. In fact, seriously. CAN NOT say.
Here's the rundown:
I spilled coffee on my laptop yesterday and destroyed some keys. I was able to IM and tweet a little, but it was weird because I had to use 1's and 3's and 6's and 8's and 0' instead of l's and o's and b's and i's and I just couldn't really figure out anything but (eventually) to copy and paste some p's and k's and m's.
I was splicing together tweets like ransom notes. Picking words and letters from previous messages to try and get my word out.
It sucked.
Did I ever tell you about how Madee chewed up my cell phone and for months I had to be extremely creative texting with no y(ee) w, space bar, so.manee.sentences.came.out.like.this.
My point is, things like this have happened before, and I make do, I adapt, I
overcome. I mean seriously, isn't that what I do best? LOOK AT MY CIRCUMSTANCES. Absolute freedom. Little bitty living space.
And there were times yesterday, as I was
pouring coffee out of my laptop and going at it with the hairdryer, that, to be honest, I freaked out. FREAKED OUT because I am putting SO MUCH EFFORT into this blog and I just feel that for every step forward I struggle to make, I fall, like, 6 steps back. Mostly because I am putting SO MUCH PRESSURE on myself to make this happen somehow, and that includes catching up on how this happens and reading all of these other amazing blogs by all of these relatively normal everyday people who have so much to say and some of them have a staggeringly eloquent command of language.
It is intimidating. I am intimidated by their experiences or success or raw talent or professionalism, and it is affecting my ability to get words/thoughts/actions out of my brain and into my tangible world.
This stupid keyboard thing has just been a real metaphor for my life/brain/state of mind lately, like I struggle to find the write combination of random letters and 1's and 0's to get myself out of my head, get my head out of my ass, and get my ass into the middle of this.
And that is where I was yesterday.
Today I was at Best Buy getting a new wireless mouse/keyboard combo, and here I am now trying to figure out a way to get some computer company to sponsor me and very even possibly make a computer special for me that doesn;t break when dropped, spilled or driven on.
In other news:
Madee has started saying "Boom Boom" and I don't really know if it is an attempt at another word or just her being her "cooler than I am" self and coming up with a new catch phrase
all on her own.In context, sometimes I think it means "butt" sometimes it means "there ya go" in a pat you on your butt kind of way, sometimes it seems to mean "boo-yah".
What ever it is, it is
awesome.
And I say it now ALL THE TIME.
It is also my new pet name for Charlie. A la that scene Stepbrothers where Dale is all "You have to call me Dragon..."
BoomBoom.
