Who Knew? A Little Organization Does Go A Long Way!

If I had a dollar for every childless jerkhole that has ever told me what they would do to address whatever situation I have with my kids I don't know how much money I'd have but I would still probably just shove it into the mouth of said jerkhole to shut their face up.

I am not angry.

I am just saying.

Hey, JERKHOLE, my (or any other) kids haven't been wearing and weighing and waking YOU for the last 3 years. So you DON'T actually know what you would do, because you have never had your body/mind/emotions endure the stress of infancy, and toddlerhood, with an extra helping of infancy and toddlerhood on top.

If you really were sporting my flip flops, dragging ass, trying to see the forest for the trees, you'd stop telling me what you'd do, and actually try to do something helpful. Like get me a Starbucks or something.

I mean, until the kids are 2, a mom is just trying to survive with a little of her dignity/individuality/style in tact, much less make it look appealing for others to consider procreation.

Yesterday, when some Edward Jones advisor came to the door (old school, hunh) and was greeted with my braless, half asleep, mostly agitated demeanor, and then 2 crazy half naked marker covered children come running out followed by 2 crazy loud barking dogs who then proceeded to run the circle from the front door to the carport door back through the house playing some sort of cave-child "Cowboys and Indians" (can you SAY that anymore?) hooting and hollering and barking and circling and....

I start tapping my foot when I get anxious/nervous/irritable and during a good tapppa tappa tapping yesterday, Boom Boom was all "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN!" but not quite like that.

And I was all ::stink eye:: and ::silent treatment:: because I am a negotiator.

And then I pulled out that last stretch of the race after you hit the wall. The peaceful, methodic, prepared for the inevitable pace that gets you to the finish line.

The kids got fed and washed and put to bed.

I went to get a movie from the redbox. 1 for us to enjoy and 1 for the kids in the morning. I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, put away EVERYTHING in the kitchen, made sandwiches and snacks for an outing and cut up 2 blocks of cheese to shave time off of later cheese cravings. Boom Boom got the trash and recycles out, I prepped some bottles and midnite water for the kids, got the coffee set and ready to go.

I cleaned and prepped and organized until I couldn't even find anything left to do and the whole time I just felt lighter and lighter and lighter because people?

I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

But this morning? Coffee ready, kids watching "Horton Hears a Who" on the couch with milks and blankies and no screaming or fighting or general ruckus making?

FEEL that Thursday. I made you my girlfriend. Like in the prison girlfriend sense of the word.

That's Incredible

Ya know? Living in Tahoe was pretty amazing. I mean the mountains and the lake and the views from up tops and the blizzards and the sometimes waking up to 10 feet of snow? AMAZING.

But not my kind of amazing.

I wanted to come back to where I came from.


There is just all this stuff that I felt like I was missing. The beach, my parents, the theme parks, the weather.

I knew I really wanted to come back.


And it is easy breezy days with the kids all my myself at Sea World that really reinforce that for me.

I love hanging out with my kids and watching them see new things for the first time.
The things I remember seeing for the first time when I was a kid.

Who knew? The gypsy has a thing for tradition.

(I also have a thing for this dude's mustache. AWESOME.)

I mean what kid wouldn't want wild dreams about this crazy bird lady swinging around?


This is the first time we caught the whale and dolphin show, and let me tell ya - it is INCREDIBLE. By far the best show that Sea World has going on. Mostly because the trainers are still in the water with these guys.

This is a False Killer Whale. He is just this gorgeous streamlined shadow of a thing and his routine is like WOAH.


Each set of animals have their own designated trainers who wear different wetsuits. One of this guy's trainers was an obviously pregnant lady.

Um, so cool random pregnant lady. SO COOL.

This is his other (unpregnant) trainer surfing him.

Yeah, that's right. SURFING him.

I think I want one.


And the dolphins? We see dolphins all the time on the way to the beach or at the beach even, but I have never seen the wild ones do this:

Umm, he got like 20 feet of air that time.

Anyhoo. Gotta run.

I told the kids we would go back today and try and catch that new Shamu baby in action...

I Had Him at "GO GO GO!"

The other night Boom Boom and I had the most romantic impromptu evening since our wedding night. I guess the stars aligned or something, because with 2 little hellions in the house constantly clamoring for whatever it is they think they need at the moment. (Children are SO selfish.)

Anyhoo, we were reminiscing while watching "The Hangover" which is now in my Top 3 Favorite Movies category, and there is this one part in the movie that reminded me of our second first date.

Boom Boom and I met on Myspace and so we did lots of communicating over the computer, especially since the day after we actually met he had to go to Mexico for like, a month.

During that month, I had been dating this other guy, and Boom Boom? He had some dead end relationships with loose ends all over the country and one of them came to visit for the 4th of July.

It so happened that he dropped her off at the airport on the 6th of July, and the guy I was dating went out of town, and I asked him to come over and hang out.

I also might mention here, that he brought back gifts from Mexico, including a killer red Mexican blanket, and a teeny sombrero for my teeny little dog, Ono.

Precious.

So we are hanging out with my Birth Mom and my Step Dad in the hot tub yucking it up drinking beers and of course, the old people bagged out early. I had only just moved into that house in February, so the whole step dad thing was a pretty new relationship for me too.

Anyhoo, we ended up going back to Boom Boom's place to drink his whiskey, and I ended up spending the night. (Dad, NOTHING happened! I SWEAR! But we were a little too tipsy to drive home, and I PROMISE he was a TOTAL gentleman.)

So the next morning, I had to be at work by 10, and I didn't have a car, so Boom Boom drove me home in his creepy molester style van. We were already starting to like each other a lot, and were joking and laughing when he pulled closer to my step dad's house, and I spied my step dad OUT IN THE FRONT YARD.

Boom Boom puts the brakes on and I get all military voiced and yell, "There's NORM! GO GO GO!" with military hand motions and Boom Boom, SHOCKED, floors the gas, the van speeds up and away we go, all breathless from the excitement of it all.

He turns to me and says, "Where are we going?"

And I, laughing maniacally, say "Oh, I don't care just make a loop and then drop me off in my driveway."

He thought I was CaRayZee.

And seriously, it was the hugest spectacle at 8:00 AM in our super quiet neighborhood in lovely listen to the leaves drop South Lake Tahoe. Especially considering the windows of the van (and every house on the block) were wide open.

But looking back, he totally admits, I had him at "GO GO GO."

Freaking DISNEY

If there is something I have simultaneously dreaded AND anticipated, it is the first time I take my kids to Disney.

I grew up here. I have been to Disney LOTS OF TIMES.
And several of those times have been with Matt.
But this time was special, because it was our first BIG FAMILY TRIP!

THANKS MATT! You rock the Disney-teque!

I have watched the families, seen the crying kids, watched the freak outs (good and bad) over the characters.

I still wasn't sure what to expect.

Happiest Place on Earth?

Eden wasn't easily convinced.

We were dripping with sweat before we walked into the park.

No.
DRIPPING.


One of the first things we did was the carousel.
As you can see, Eden is NOT a morning person.
Or a horsey person.


We started out introducing Madee to characters like princesses. Not only does she know who they all are, but she knows they look like real people.

So, not scary.

We don't have Cinderella the movie, but Madee knows her anyway.

What is she looking at?
Belle.

Because we all know Belle is the princess of the century.

Talking to Cindy, staring at Belle.


Let's get to the goodbyes lady, sure you are cool, but you are NOT Belle!


Of course she loves Belle. She GETS Belle. Belle likes to read and she is attracted to BIG HULKY guys and they have the same hard fake smile.

Aaah.
There's Dad and Madee on the Dumbo ride. Madee AND Eden's first big ride.

Everybody hold hands.
NO RANDOM DANCING.

Are you happy yet, Ida?

K, how about NOW?

It must be almost noon, because morning grouch is coming around!
Musta been that huge messy popsicle all over her dress!

Sugar for the WIN!


Hahaha! There's a kinda happy girl!
Also? Eden was tall enough to ride this ride.
That is 32" with no shoes on.

Madee Andretti.
Two hands on the wheel.


She can hardly believe this is happening.


One press of the accelerator and she wanted back out.

Hand on the wheel EDEN!

Oh HAI Minnie!
I wasn't sure what she would think about the costumed characters - I have seen some kids really get scared.

Not my girl.
Going in for the hug.

Hi five Mickey! I LOVE your place!

Saying goodbye to the Mouses.
Question: if your last name is "Mouse" do we visit the "Mice" or the "Mouses"?

I almost bought the official photo of this serious alien shooting going on in the car behind us.
Boom Boom? Whooping butt and forgetting names.

The Happiest Girl on Earth.
In her Belle jewelry.

We actually made it from open to 4:30 in the afternoon.
EPIC
And I am still tired!


***I hate my point and shoot.
****That is all.

Here are Matt's pics of my lovely ladies...

Madee sees Cinderella's castle.

I think she likes it.

Ida running through the streets like an urchin.


Drunk on popsicle and the freedom of movement.