If I had a dollar for every childless jerkhole that has ever told me what they would do to address whatever situation I have with my kids I don't know how much money I'd have but I would still probably just shove it into the mouth of said jerkhole to shut their face up.
I am not angry.
I am just saying.
Hey, JERKHOLE, my (or any other) kids haven't been wearing and weighing and waking YOU for the last 3 years. So you DON'T actually know what you would do, because you have never had your body/mind/emotions endure the stress of infancy, and toddlerhood, with an extra helping of infancy and toddlerhood on top.
If you really were sporting my flip flops, dragging ass, trying to see the forest for the trees, you'd stop telling me what you'd do, and actually try to do something helpful. Like get me a Starbucks or something.
I mean, until the kids are 2, a mom is just trying to survive with a little of her dignity/individuality/style in tact, much less make it look appealing for others to consider procreation.
Yesterday, when some Edward Jones advisor came to the door (old school, hunh) and was greeted with my braless, half asleep, mostly agitated demeanor, and then 2 crazy half naked marker covered children come running out followed by 2 crazy loud barking dogs who then proceeded to run the circle from the front door to the carport door back through the house playing some sort of cave-child "Cowboys and Indians" (can you SAY that anymore?) hooting and hollering and barking and circling and....
I start tapping my foot when I get anxious/nervous/irritable and during a good tapppa tappa tapping yesterday, Boom Boom was all "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN!" but not quite like that.
And I was all ::stink eye:: and ::silent treatment:: because I am a negotiator.
And then I pulled out that last stretch of the race after you hit the wall. The peaceful, methodic, prepared for the inevitable pace that gets you to the finish line.
The kids got fed and washed and put to bed.
I went to get a movie from the redbox. 1 for us to enjoy and 1 for the kids in the morning. I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, put away EVERYTHING in the kitchen, made sandwiches and snacks for an outing and cut up 2 blocks of cheese to shave time off of later cheese cravings. Boom Boom got the trash and recycles out, I prepped some bottles and midnite water for the kids, got the coffee set and ready to go.
I cleaned and prepped and organized until I couldn't even find anything left to do and the whole time I just felt lighter and lighter and lighter because people?
I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
But this morning? Coffee ready, kids watching "Horton Hears a Who" on the couch with milks and blankies and no screaming or fighting or general ruckus making?
FEEL that Thursday. I made you my girlfriend. Like in the prison girlfriend sense of the word.
Tampa Area Photographer
6 years ago