Halloween Decoration DIY

The girls LOVE decorating for any holiday.

And this year, they seem a little more open to a scary Halloween.

We decided to make some decorations that will last a lifetime,
that they can have in their own homes when they have children.

And of course used our natural talents to accomplish something fun and unique...

We picked out some creepy clothes, old dolls, and headed out to the historical (and creepy!) Pacetti gravesite here in Ponce Inlet for the first one. 

Madee doesn't want to play with that doll anymore. ::cure creepy evil laugh::

For pumpkin patch pictures, I requested they give me their best impression of a zombie.

Then I edited it for fun.

This one was just naturally creepy.

This was my favorite.
Just cuteness and fun!

Then Madelyn and I went rogue for some ghost shots...

I don't even know if we are done yet!
We have been having so much fun!

We will be framing these in blask filigree frames, except the best one,
which will be blown up for spotlighting!

Creepy family photos! FUN!

Obama, Narwhals, and Turkey Dogs, OH MY!

There really is NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

I almost HATE talking about my dreams, because, let's face it. Even without a peek into my twisted little uncontrollable dreamworld, people think I am, I don't know, weird?

Well lately my dreams have been action packed and chock full of zombies and narwhals and me picking fights with Obama because he won't talk to me at some party, when let's face it, he should be BEGGING me to be his head of security detail.

Or at least give me one of those little headsets thingys.

But I ramble off to the side sometimes.

The other night we came home from our second day in a row at the beach and I was so tired I went straight to bed. No dinner, no TV, no movie, no wine, straight. to. bed.

And one of my less creative dreams of the evening went like this:

I dreamed that Boom Boom ate hot dogs for dinner. But he didn't choose the open pack of of turkey dogs in the fridge, OH NO, he opened the brand new package I had just bought that day.

And I was all, "DUDE! why don't you look around the fridge for the old hot dogs? You need BRAND NEW hot dogs? That is messed up."

And then I proceeded to dream about swimming with the narwhals (not on purpose, mind you) and bullying Obama at a house party.

Can I just interject that I can't write these dreams? I am totally taken hostage by my weird little brain and I am only along for the ride.

Anyhoo, I obviously, eventually woke up.

And that next day as I was fixing lunch for the girls, I go to grab the hot dogs and lo, the new package (I really had been to the grocery the day before) had been opened and 2 of those turkey dogs were missing. After further investigation, I find the old package of hot dogs with, yes, 2 turkey dogs sitting there.

Deja friggity vu.

I run to the back of the house and rush into Boom Boom's office and say,"I TOTALLY had a dream last night that you ate hot dogs out of the NEW PACKAGE when we still had hot dogs left in the OLD PACKAGE and when I woke up this morning? I found out my dream was TRUE!"

Then I asked him, "I mean, I went to bed last night, right? I didn't get up and eat hot dogs, did I?"

And he was all, "Nope."

And I was all, "Well you better watch yourself, buddy, because obviously I am psychic and see everything you are doing, even in my sleep."

And he was all, "CREEEEEPY."

I know, right?

So i guess I should go ahead and write a letter of apology to the president in case that whole little "misunderstanding" may have actually happened too.

Madee's Firsts

I have always found it both adorable and annoying when a little kid starts learning how to tell jokes. And it seems to me that the kids I remember telling jokes are closer to the 5 and up crowd, and they are trying to remember some joke they heard at school, or the playground, or at one of their friend's houses.

And they never seem to be able to remember the punchline after a super long build up, and sometimes I barely have the patience to get through the set up the first time, and then they have too start over because they forgot or messed up the punch line and they just can't go on with life until they get it out.

In my experience it takes approximately 4 hours to listen to a kid try to tell a joke before they give up/get distracted/fall asleep.

And although as a mother I do sometimes think my kids are doing things beyond their age limits, I am pretty sure that Madee telling successful jokes, and making them up on the fly is a pretty gifted skill for her mere 2 1/2 years.

I don't even know where she learned about knock knock jokes, because I don't recall EVER telling her one until she started "knock knock" ing on me, and I could resist the old banana, banana, banana, orange you glad I didn't say banana routine.

I mean, at least she knows what a banana and an orange actually is, because my "A priest, a Rabbi and an atheist walk into a bar" jokes just leave her staring at me blankfaced.

Kids.

No sense of humor.

Anyhoo, her new thing is telling knock knock jokes in the car, and hers goes like this:


Madee: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Madee: Banana
Me: Banana who?

Madee: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Madee: Banana
Me: Banana who?

Madee: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Madee: Banana
Me: Banana who?

Madee: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Madee: Orange
Me: Orange who?

Madee: I EAT IT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And then we just fall rolling on the floor in laughter.

She totally made that up on her all by herself.

I Had Him at "GO GO GO!"

The other night Boom Boom and I had the most romantic impromptu evening since our wedding night. I guess the stars aligned or something, because with 2 little hellions in the house constantly clamoring for whatever it is they think they need at the moment. (Children are SO selfish.)

Anyhoo, we were reminiscing while watching "The Hangover" which is now in my Top 3 Favorite Movies category, and there is this one part in the movie that reminded me of our second first date.

Boom Boom and I met on Myspace and so we did lots of communicating over the computer, especially since the day after we actually met he had to go to Mexico for like, a month.

During that month, I had been dating this other guy, and Boom Boom? He had some dead end relationships with loose ends all over the country and one of them came to visit for the 4th of July.

It so happened that he dropped her off at the airport on the 6th of July, and the guy I was dating went out of town, and I asked him to come over and hang out.

I also might mention here, that he brought back gifts from Mexico, including a killer red Mexican blanket, and a teeny sombrero for my teeny little dog, Ono.

Precious.

So we are hanging out with my Birth Mom and my Step Dad in the hot tub yucking it up drinking beers and of course, the old people bagged out early. I had only just moved into that house in February, so the whole step dad thing was a pretty new relationship for me too.

Anyhoo, we ended up going back to Boom Boom's place to drink his whiskey, and I ended up spending the night. (Dad, NOTHING happened! I SWEAR! But we were a little too tipsy to drive home, and I PROMISE he was a TOTAL gentleman.)

So the next morning, I had to be at work by 10, and I didn't have a car, so Boom Boom drove me home in his creepy molester style van. We were already starting to like each other a lot, and were joking and laughing when he pulled closer to my step dad's house, and I spied my step dad OUT IN THE FRONT YARD.

Boom Boom puts the brakes on and I get all military voiced and yell, "There's NORM! GO GO GO!" with military hand motions and Boom Boom, SHOCKED, floors the gas, the van speeds up and away we go, all breathless from the excitement of it all.

He turns to me and says, "Where are we going?"

And I, laughing maniacally, say "Oh, I don't care just make a loop and then drop me off in my driveway."

He thought I was CaRayZee.

And seriously, it was the hugest spectacle at 8:00 AM in our super quiet neighborhood in lovely listen to the leaves drop South Lake Tahoe. Especially considering the windows of the van (and every house on the block) were wide open.

But looking back, he totally admits, I had him at "GO GO GO."

Eden, Granddaddy and More Eden

When Grandaddy was over for 4th of July GTG, Eden just stood up and walked to him. She takes steps here and there, but she is not so motivated to commit to walking full-time right now.

What is she doing lately?

A whole lotta clowning around. This kid thinks anything and everything is hilARious. I love taking her to the grocery store because you swing by the milk aisle and this kid DIES.

In related news, this kid drinks ALOT of milk.

Things she says:
Diego*
Here ya go*
Thank you*
Mama
Dadda
Tickle

* all these words sound pretty much the same.

And, well actually she says a lot of things right after you say it, but I am not claiming she knows what she is talking about. She is just really good at mimicking words and noises.

Oh, and she is really good at screaming at the top of her lungs.

She is stalled on cutting tooth #8 and I don't know how many others, but it has been a miserable clammy sweaty bitey screamy screamFEST over here. We call it SCREAMFEST 2010 and it heralds the ever anticipated and critically acclaimed Christmas 2010 which, by the way, is going to be awesome, please bring your own beer!

Can I just say after several white Christmases I am excited to know that we will be decorating palm trees this year?

So I may have mentioned this before, but ever since us kids moved out (kind of) my Dad has been pimping out the house and yard in grew up in. In fact, he got yard of the month this month, and quite honestly, he should get it every month, because this yard is to die for!

(I bet you thought these were taken in a park!)

Anyhoo, back to Eden. She climbs all over our...well, she climbs all over our everything. She has been covered in bug bites and bruises and scratches, because the world is HARD and scratchy. There are lots of spills and tears and bumps and screams, but she is SUPER fast at crawling (it's creepy) and she can climb playsets and slides and couches and has NO FEAR of heights despite her previous experience with gravity.

Let's just say you have to keep an eye on this one.


She is the snuggliest laughiest baby I have ever personally known. In fact she can get me rolling with her laughter until it hurts or I pee. Or both.

She loves to read books, and whereas Madee loved to ride them and tear them to shreds like a hamster when she was this age, Eden will sit and turn pages quite carefully.

But she will eat ANY ART SUPPLY available, and sometimes fully poops play-do and crayons.

She wants to do anything her sister is doing, LOVES the kitties HARD and picks them up all by herself and squeezes them. Precious.

Also she likes to "tittle tittle" Zoose with her little fingers out doing the tickle wiggle, and occasionally fully lays on him she loves him so.

She is a singer and a shoulder shimmier. She will sing any song we sing and especially loves Ariel the Mermaid's song. She is always singing. She is also close to on key so I doubt she's gonna stop. She loves live music and her little shoulders start spazzing out in an Elaine Benes-esque jerking motion when she gets wrapped up in melody.

She REALLY frigging cute.

Also, she will still snatch your glasses right off your face, no matter how many times you say "no!" and she will even shake her head "no!" when she does it because she knows she isn't supposed to do that.

In related news, she LOVES a time out, because she has seen Madee "Get to do" that for some time now and feels all big girl and badass when it happens to her.

She is a stinker. I think I will start calling her "Skunk".

I love you pookie. You are SO Pepe LePew!

Wordless Wednesday

Umm, is that the Colonel at Popeyes?

Non Bloggers: A Series

Alrighty y'all. As I introduce my next Guest Non-Blogger, I must give you a few disclaimers. First of all, she's Canadian. From British Columbia. I met her on twitter when she wondered out loud of she should get engagement photos.

Of course I had to butt in. I told her "YES!" and that I wish I could do them for her! (Did I mention she is tee-tiny and has this serious flawless kind of girl-next-door beauty that my camera could work with!)

Anyhoo we got to talking and I found out that her fiance was this guy with a camera, and well, pretty much since then I have been hounding Boom Boom to run away to Canada and marry them, because they are so.much.fun.

Please, spend some time looking at Mike's work. He is amazing. And Genina and I have dreams of us all getting together for photo shoot swaps and good times.

Her email signature includes a quote from Helen Keller, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

And that makes her a perfect contributor for Family Sized Fun.

Okay, so I could go on forEVEH in a whole 'nother blog post about how much I like this girl (she makes me snort my coffee), but I would rather just give you the opportunity to fall in love yourself.

Presenting, Genina.

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Hello All! :)

I can't even begin to tell you how excited and honored I was when Karmen asked me to guest post on her blog. It's MY FIRST GUEST POST!!

I don't personally know Karmen but her candidness, kindness and thoughtfulness on twitter made her a quick friend. I enjoy reading her blog and her tweets - she's amazing and I'm so glad that the wonderful world of social networking has brought us together.

I don't have children and though I hope too have some one day, for now, I consider myself very lucky to have such wonderful friends with the cutest, sweetest toddlers and babies. I get to enjoy the laughs, the giggles, the hugs and the love that only children can bring to ones life - I'd like to thank my friends for having such wonderful children and for sharing their childhood with me.

One day while at work (after receiving an invite to my friends sons birthday party) I Googled the word "inappropriate kids toys". Now, if you know me in real life or twitter you know I'm all about the inappropriateness, so this Google search is only fitting.

I give you my guest post - Top 10 Inappropriate Toy's for kids.

#10: exacto knifes for your "your little angel"

Because every little girl needs a set of exacto knives in her makeup drawer. These can also be used while she cuts out coupons while playing house with her friends, or you know, they can be useful for when the boys get out of hand. ;) I would imagine my Dad would have bought such a gift for me when I was a child, if only he knew where to find it... the internet.

#9 Superman Pillow - "Turn your pillow into the biggest toy ever"

Nuff said.

#8 Pole Dancer Doll

Now, when I was growing up I really wish I had a doll like this. When I was in the 5th grade I had dreams of growing up to be a stripper - ya ya classy, right? If I had this doll she might have pushed me far enough to follow through with my dreams. I can only hope you buy one for your little girl.

#7 I give you the "At home Crack Kit for kids"

I'd like to give a big thank you to "One eye'd Bob's Inappropriate Toys for Children" for this one. Now, if you know of British Columbia, you must know all about the city of Surrey. I can see this gift under every Christmas tree for Children under the age of 12. I never got one, and I'm sad. Pretty sure I could have started my own business with a gift like this. Perhaps I could have made millions, that's if I didn't blow myself up first. This gift should probably come with a warning label.

#6 I now present "the cigarette rolling kit"

Once again, I'm thanking "One eye'd Bob's Inappropriate Toys for Children"! Who wouldn't want their kids helping around the house? I know I would, and with the price of cigarettes these days why would you roll your own? and why wouldn't you enlist the help of your children? I can only hope you'd up their allowance and give them a good story to tell their teachers on why they're finger tips are yellow.

#5 The "My First Rave - with X " Book

Who needs books about "pooping", "peeing", "making friends", "fuzzy animals" or even the "ABC's"? Not my kids. When they're learning to read, you can guarantee their first book will be "my first rave - with X". After they learn it and memorize it we shall party, in our underpants while I bake pot cookies and nachos after playing the piano.

#4 It's a TIE! between "Peni Pals" & "Road Kill Cat"

I give you Peni Pals

The Peni Pal happens to be the second most awesome plush toy for Children. Not only is it pink, but it's a unicorn, and what little girl wouldn't want a pink unicorn? This Unicorn is very special though, it shall help each and every child become familiar with the male genitalia because it's horn is a penis, with balls. This Unicorn could also be filed under the "very HAPPY to see you" category.

And now "Road Kill Cat"

No matter how old you are, you're guaranteed to experience the loss of a pet, whether it's your pet or a friends pet, we all experience it. Sometimes we even experience the sudden pet death via the car. There's 'really no better way to introduce your children to 'road kill' than with the "road kill cat. I say buy it for them, get them to play with it, even become friends with it, so the next time you accidentally hit a small critter they're not so sad.

#3 "You Can Shave the Baby"

Personal Hygiene is a big thing, especially when you hit puberty, so why not buy your child the "shave the baby doll"? This teaches them all about cleanliness, hair and the upkeep that goes along with such things. Now I don't know if this doll is like a chia pet, maybe the hair grows back after you shave it? Only one would hope because as we all know, you don't just get to shave once, it's a weekly, sometimes daily thing. Let's start 'em learning these things at a ripe young age!

#2 ..."herpes" (not really, but you should keep reading)

Birthdays are a great day to give your child herpes, the flu, or even gonorrhea! With these plush toys, courtesy of Think Geek, how could you go wrong. You can provide your child with the uber cuddly version of over 30 viruses. It's the gift that keeps on giving - you should have a look for yourself. My friend Karmen owns the "bed bug' (not shown on the site but photo provided below).. I'm jealous! :)

#1 Bebe Gloton - it's Russian and I can only imagine this translates to "Breast Feeding Baby" because that's what it is.

There's not much to say about this doll, other than it will teach your daughter all about motherhood at a VERY EARLY age. Who wouldn't want that? I think it's a great idea, I mean, when you're 9 and you don't even have boobs why not strap faux boobies to yourself and have your very own baby feed off you? That's a good way to spend a Saturday, when you're 9, right? I encourage you to have a close look at the photos, and even watch the video so you can feel a little extra uncomfortable.

Video: Bebe Gloton Demonstration

There you have it, my top 10 list of Inappropriate Toys for Kids. If you ever invite me to your child's birthday party you can guarantee I'm bringing the gift of a breast feeding baby, a cigarette rolling kit or Herpes. Hope to see those invites pouring into my inbox :)

Thanks for reading my post, it was nice to stretch my fingers and be invited to guest post on Karmen's Blog! Once again, what an honor. :)

xo

GBug :)

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Thanks Genina! I would TOTALLY give you herpes for your birthday! Or any holiday! (You know I love those "bugs") The dolls scare the crap out of me and I totally want those X-acto knives for myself! Oh, and the Superman pillow? ::side eye:: WOW. ::blink blink::

It is so fun to share my friends twisted brains through this forum! And I want to think Mike and Genina for being awesome tweeps! When y'all come to florida imma need like a CASE of ketchup chips. You can follow them at @geninabug and @gwac.

And as always, you can follow me on twitter @FamilySizedFun !

We call them "Mood Swings"

It was another rough night. Eden is just going through a time, and in the bounds of this living space, there comes a point of crying it out that is too much for the rest of us to bear. Or sleep through. I was up several times with her last night, and then, when Boom Boom had woken up early to sneak out for a run, Madee woke up and cried and cried and cried and seriously I am in a hurricane of whining and crying lately.

And that is a lot of my daily existence.

And some times are harder than others. Because sometimes I just don't have the energy to attack a mountain of whining and crying and clouds and cold. Sometimes I just don't know how we are going to make it through the day.

And then I have some coffee. Take my Prozac. Hop on Twitter.

Read a little from this guy's website. Cry a little.

Hug my babies. Real hard.

And find that strength that isn't in me, but is just from somewhere else.

I pack a lunch, get the girls fed and dressed, and take them out in the world to show them things, even if we are just driving by them and pointing from the window as rain beats down on the truck.

It isn't easy to be the Mom.

But I also know that it isn't easy being them either, being Eden, dealing with the mouth pain, not being able to help herself to things she cannot reach, not being able to say what she already means. wanting everything that Madee has, not being able to walk yet, because she really wants to.

And it also isn't easy being Madee, being in this swirl of emotion and new reaches of awareness that just make everything confusing and strange and uncomfortable. Feeling out of control of things and events, but understanding more and more that she could control these things, or that she will at some point. Being told "NO!" all the time. Being thrust into sharing everything - her mom and dad, her toys, her dogs, her space, her time, her food, at a time when she is just discovering ownership and independence and individuality, yet is still vulnerable to feeling like or wanting to be a baby again.

And Boom Boom? Well it isn't easy being him either. I won't get into why, because he is old enough to tell you himself, but he is tired and stressed and dealing with his own things right now.

Oh, and there I go again avoiding talking about myself. I guess I am not in the best place right now. I don't want to talk about it, I just want out. Out of the funk, out of the fog from being so tired, out of the emotion that is 3 females taking turns crying in our house. And I don't want to talk about it because I hate to admit weakness. It is like once I do, things start getting worse and the crap starts to pile on to test just how much I can carry before I fall down. And it's little things.

It's all little things! (well, except the lack of sleep!) but seriously, things are looking up in so many realms that I should be enjoying those developments (moving to FL, upgrading my blog) and I just want to cry because Madee is helping herself to the refrigerator YET AGAIN for what is like her 4 or 5th yogurt in 24 hours, despite the fact that ask her not to help herself, despite the fact that I feed her in the morning, despite the fact that now I'm crying because I feel like I must not feed my GIGANTIC GODZILLA children enough.

So here goes my pep talk, welcome one and all, seriously, if you ever need a pep talk COME TO ME I am like a SUNSHINE ENEMA.

***********************************

I have a dream. And in my dream, my new BFF from twitter, who only lives 2 hours away, and I jump a plane for Vegas, buy gorgeous new clothes and go dancing and drinking and hustling gambling winnings from old bald men for MORE GORGEOUS CLOTHES and then end up renting Segways and chucking hot dogs at at the porn card flickers while drinking vodka tonics and chanting "Big Freaking Potato" all night. Then we go into a tattoo parlor and get a tramp stamp of loaded potatoes with bacon and cheese and then run by the chapel to become "blood sisters" in a ceremony presided by a big lady Elvis. Old Bloated Elvis, not the cute one.

And then we go bet all the rest of our money on Keno while eating chicken fried steak and drunk dialing everybody in our cell phone lists and then we win a BAZILLION dollars and BUY BLOGHER and we are the QUEENS OF THE BLOGOSPHERE and we run around arm in arm singing that "Schlameel Schlamozzle" song from Laverne and Shirley.

And now I've found it. I have my strength to make this a wonderful day.

All because of my new imaginary friend.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW.

Alrighty kiddos! lets get out of the house!

Wordless Wednesday

Haha. Just kidding.
Imma hafta say something.

First of all, how cute are these 2 at bath time? Last night was Eden's first time out of her seat in the bath tub and she felt like such a big girl.

Although a little worried. And rightly so.


The first thing she did was go for the thing that Madee is always going after to get herself in trouble - the faucet. Awesome. So she knows what the bad stuff is an CAN'T WAIT TO DO IT.

She really enjoyed being hollered at for it.

"I'm BIG TIME NOW y'all!"


Other "Big Girl" stuff she's doing?

Cracking us all up at snack time sitting like a big girl at the kid's table.
She eats dinner like this, too.

When babies attack...

In the Time It Takes Me to Pee

Nobody is safe when I go to the bathroom. THANK GOODNESS she didn't get to the dogs!

DNA Evidence

If Boom Boom set me up on the Jerry Springer show for a maternity test, I think these are the pictures he would give Jerry to prove this is really my daughter.

"Look at that! How can you deny THAT! She looks JUST LIKE you!"



And a gratuitous picture of the baby muffin. NO you can't just eat the top.
::all over face kisses::

NOMMY!

Accidental Egg Art

The first Easter egg I cracked open looked like this.

::shudder::

It kinda gave more meaning to the"deviled" eggs.

Tell me what you see when you look really closely.

For the love of all that is girly...