Workshopping Poetry

I don't have a copy of it.

I wish I did, but I am pretty sure I can give you the gist of this whole thing, This mystery solved 20 years later. I hope you are reading this one, Dad.

I won the county writing contest my junior year in high school. WON it. With this poem my teacher hand picked out of my journals and had me workshop and focus and straighten out. Poetry is like that for me. Some wicked stream of consciousness that I may later work and rework and mold into something others could want to read.

I was good at it. Especially if I tried.

Anyhoo, the poem was this whirly twirly confusion and hate and kicking and screaming and there was someone at the top of this tower and I was at the bottom and I was screaming "Daddy" and something was throwing things in this vortex of freaky and trying to kill me.

After it was workshopped, it was magnificent.

But it made my Dad SUPER uncomfortable. It sounded like he was mean or terrible or no good in some way, and really that is not at all what the stream of consciousness beginning was about, but I guess with all this intention of words and stanza and imagery it turned into that.

I kept telling him it wasn't about him, and that I didn't know where it came from, but I don't think he believed me. I think he just squirmed about it.

And imagine his horror when it won the freaking contest and EVERYONE got to read it on showcase.

Anyhoo, I had long forgotten this poem and the contest, and my dad probably put it aside too.

Then the other day I was watching "The Little Mermaid" with Madee, and it all came back.

In the end of the movie, Ursula the sea witch has won, she has parted the waters into this crazy tower and Ariel is at the bottom of it and Ursula is throwing lightening bolts at her and trying to kill her. She's screaming "Daddy" because her dad has just given his life and his soul to save hers, and has been turned into a small seaweedy looking creature to the side of the tower.

I just sat there in goose bump shock as I watched and processed what was happening in front of me, and that it had happened before - that I could literally see my poem form out of this scene.

I mean, IT IS MY STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS to a T.

I scrambled to grab the movie jacket and flipped it over looking for its original release date - 1989.
I am pretty sure my poem won in 1990 or 1991.

I know I always resonated with Ariel. That long red hair, the adventurous spirit - but I never knew how far she had gotten into my psyche.

Anyway Dad, if that poem ever still bothers you, this should make you feel better.

I guess I am not as creative as we all thought!

Feeling

Like a puppet on a string.
And I am supposed to dance.
(DANCE monkey DANCE!)
To no music.
With no movement.

But I think I am dancing - I even think I've got moves.

And apparently I am not moving at all.

Like those long afternoon naps.
When you think you woke up 5 minutes ago, but you are still sleeping.

Yet, you are convinced you have fully awakened, and you are going on with your life.

Only to have someone walk in and wake you and prove you wrong with a rude actual awakening.

Anyhoo, not sure if you can relate, but my afternoon naps happen like that.

Pics from the road

On the road again...
The new pad...
Serious Cuteness


Lucky Bamboo
Cool Bridge

Ahhhhh.

I am sitting at my work table, drinking coffee. Eden is crawling over here from the living area. It should take her 7 or 8 minutes. Madee is sitting here with me playing with a new playdo set and we are all just chilling before we head out to the Duluth Public Library for some playtime fun and hopefully some new friends.

It seems like a long time since I have had a morning like this. If I have ever had a morning like this since having 2 kids.

I like it a lot.

I have some fun pictures to share, but I still can't seem to upload them to blogger, so they will have to wait.

I don't have pictures of Duluth yet, really, but I am excited to take some. There is something very edgy and gothic about this city. It is built on bluffs that over look Lake Superior and there are lots of old brick buildings and the streets right downtown go straight up and down like a teeny San Fransisco.

I have to mention right here that Madee is playing with this beach themed play-do set and it came with 4 cans of play-do and it has this sand colored batch that must have gotten messed up. It is almost like moldable sand or something but it is also gross and I don't want to touch it.

It looks like something a cat hacked up.

Anyhoo.
My moment of zen is over and the kids are needing me to get back to yelling at them. Madee is testing my "play-do only on the table" policy and EDEN WANT FOOD!

Duluth, Minnesota

For some reason, I can't upload pictures today.

Boo.

Anyway, we have made it to Duluth and are all settled in our little 1 bedroom apartment right downtown. It is really plenty of space for us. Dad goes to the office for work.

It is a totally different lifestyle for us.

I would tell you what I think of it, but it has only been one day and all, so I don't know yet.

But we like it here.

It hasn't even been that cold so far. (Oh yes, I know it is coming eventually.)

Anyhoo. Hopefully I will get some pictures up at some point. Our ride here was nice, we stayed in the cutest little Best Western in Lusk, WY, we took a drive by Mount Rushmore, we seriously booked it across America and the kids were awesome.

The neatest part was the Needles Highway, twisting and turning and tunneling the way to Mount Rushmore, The Corn Palace, which I like to call the Porn Callous because it always makes Charlie laugh. Okay we actually didn't go by the Porn Callous this time, but I still thought I would mention it.

Oh. And all throughout Wyoming and South Dakota everybody was just so nice. They all wave at each other and say hi even from across the street.

And when you are driving around, any time your car comes up on someone else's car, they wave at you.

Like to say "Hi."

Which is just so much different than in Southern CA where people are always flipping us the bird and cutting us off.

And so the sun sets on Southern California

Perhaps you remember Mama Goose.

I thought she was gone when we first got back, but the 2nd time I fed the flock, I saw her barely even limping, missing the nasty fishing line that had been knotted around her ankle for 2 months or more, and looking BETTER THAN EVER!

What a nice way to end our visit to Southern California.

Where next?
Well, we left the RV stored in SoCal, we're packing up the house in Tahoe, packing up a trailer with our immediate belongings, and headed to freezing hecking cold Duluth, MN.

Let me check something.
Ah, yes. It is 25 degrees there right now.
And that is a little warm for this season!

YES I AM DEAD HECKING SERIOUS.

Chilliin...

Watching football, after holiday shopping, birthday party planning, you know, just kicking it family style for as long as we can drag the holidays out for.

In our family, the holidays end at the Super Bowl, and all fitness regimes resume that second week in February.

So we have that going for us too.

Hope your
1. holidays were awesome
2. mistletoe worked
3. fantasy football teams won
4. shared a hot new year's kiss with your lovah
5. plans for 2010 go off with a bang!