Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Jesus loves Charlie (but I am His favorite!)

For some reason, this event had slipped my mind.

Maybe even for OBVIOUS reasons.

But it is time to tell it now.

Imagine - the middle of nowhere Nevada. (This where you are all, "Isn't EVERYWHERE the middle of nowhere, Nevada? And I say Ha.)

Also, the middle of the night.

The girls are sleeping. Charlie is sleeping. And I pass a sign that I am pretty sure says we have 38 miles until the next town. Keep in mind, that town MAY OR MAY NOT have a gas station.

I said the middle of nowhere.

Anyhoo. 38 miles to the next town. Also important, about 32 miles from the last town.
I look at the gas gauge, and it says we have 36 miles until the gas tank is empty.

Only we are pulling a trailer and so that number is most likely not accurate.

In fact we may have about 20 miles until we run out of gas.

Charlie looks so sweet when he is sleeping. And he has been cranky while awake.

Me: Charlie?
Him: (snore)

Oh well, I tried.

5 minutes pass.

32 miles to the next town
26 miles to the end of the gas tank.

Me: Charlie? Honey?
Him: (snore)


Me: Oh sweet baby Jesus please please PLEASE help me out on this one!

26 miles to the next town
17 miles till empty...

Me: Babe? You awake?
Him: (snore)
Me: Hmmm. It looks like he will need his rest...Plus he will be so snarky about this. This is a HUGE mess up and I NEVER MESS UP! (If you ask me!)

He will NEVER let me hear the end of this one!

I also start thinking about where jackets and gloves and such are - oh yeah. Charlie pulled them out and put them in a quick grab location in case something happens and we have to get out in the 20 degree weather.

Good thinking, Charlie.

15 miles to the next town
9 miles to empty

Me: Baby? Charlie? Hey, WAKE UP!
Him: Yeah.
Me: I don't know how to tell you this.
Him: What?
Me: I don't think we are going to make it to the next gas station.
Him: Then get gas.
Me: I don't think you get it.
Him: Then turn around.
Me: Well? That one is even further away.

I don't want to make Charlie look bad, so no more direct quotes from him.

Let's just say he wasn't thrilled. Not only have I, on numerous occasions, brought that gas gauge closer than comfort allows.

Not only has he, on many occasions, been upset or put out by that.


And now he has to psyche himself up for a cold bitter walk for miles and miles to the gas station and back.

Have I mentioned it is like 1:30 in the morning? So we have that going for us.

And now we are driving up a summit.

2 miles till empty
help me help me help me sweet baby Jesus
I talk to the sweet baby Jesus when I am really pleading. Like the grown up Jesus would just shake his head at me and be all "STUPID!"

But the sweet baby Jesus is sweet. He is a baby. He doesn't want to see me walk to the next gas station...

I can't even look at Charlie now.

I can hear his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

0 miles.
And at least 10 to go.

Me: Just go back to sleep this is all a bad dream.
Him: (uncomfortable silence) (possible questioning of how he ended up with ME!)

And then we reach the summit.

I put it in neutral and we coast at about 80 down the hill. With a trailer.

Me: (putting two firm strong hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel) Okay...

Help me Jesus Help me Jesus Help me Jesus Help me Jesus Help me Jesus Help me Jesus

4 miles to gas station
still 0 miles in the gas tank

As we get closer, the mood starts to lighten.

Then we hit another little hill.

Car in gear, pedal down, eye on the gauge.

Then lights on the horizon.

He could totally walk from here...

Anyhoo, we made it.
Jesus and Me: 1
Gas Gauge: 0

And for some reason Charlie decided to drive from there...

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