Tuesday, April 6, 2010

You Get What You Get

So I don't spend a lot of time really talking about myself, where I came from, where I have been. I don't like to live in the past.

I also don't really talk much about the future. I just don't know for sure what is coming up and even when we have an idea of what we think we may be doing soon, I don't really know until I get there.

I have never had a lot of "foresight".

I am just an in-the-now/seat-of-my-pants/a-little-bit-out-there kind of girl who all of the sudden has little beings she has to guide, so now feels like she is supposed to have a plan.


Who needs that kind of pressure when you just haven't worried about that crap before?

Anyway, what I REALLY want to talk about right now is the benefits of marriage. And this is kind of about my past.

So I got a pretty money last name when I married Boom Boom. I mean where I come from, (Alabama), Van Derven just sounds rich. Like at least 2 WHOLE HORSES rich. Possibly some chickens.

Just sayin'.

My maiden name was ::wait for it:: Coon.


We didn't make our name up, and we come from a long line of people with the same name, I even used to know an unrelated family with the same name, and somewhere along the line, our name became synonymous with an insulting connotation of the word, and I DON'T KNOW THE HISTORY OF IT ALL, but seriously, dudes, let me reiterate, I grew up in Alabama.

Therefore, I cannot count how many times I have been in an awkward situation because of my last name. I remember Boom Boom watching me at the ticket counter at an airline in Orlando as I checked in. He was hysterical, but also a little scared that this woman was about to jump over that counter and kick my ass.

Or that time I went to get fingerprinted for my real estate license, or that time my new Grandma called out for her new in laws, "Are there any Coons up there?" In a store. In Tennessee. Right after a lovely African American couple passed her on the stairs.


Or the time I asked Doc Rivers to autograph one of his shoes for my Dad. On a fancy golf course. With my boss. And I got him to write "Lee Coon: You the man." While he side eyed me with a raised eyebrow like I was going to punk him.

My Dad's workplace had to get the computers rolled over to some new system a couple years ago, and that included blocking certain language or sites or content that may be "politically correct".

Basically my Dad couldn't send or receive emails for like a week before they realized that his last name had hit the "racial slur" list. That is SO my family, always the exception.

So there ya have it. Just one of the MANY benefits of marriage. And a little something for my little sisters to look forward to. And something I REALLY don't miss about being single.*

And another little peek into my awkward past.

*The ONLY thing I miss about being single is the sleep. ;)


Anonymous said...

That might be a benefit, but #1 benefit...really?

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I have one even better. Maybe not better, but just as good. Email me and I'll tell you in private. :)

Marcy said...

My maiden name was Cox. Maybe not quite as bad as yours, but I, too, was pretty happy about taking on my hubby's name when we married.

And I agree, Van Derven is a pretty kick-ass sounding name. ; )

Emily said...

I didn't have a bad last name- but it was super hard to pronounce and I was SICK of correcting people. Now, I have a new last name that seems so simple but people STILL fuck it up.
-emmie bee

Family Sized Fun said...

you said cox
em -
i do a lot of correcting people now
but that is totally better than getting beat up!

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