Wednesday, July 28, 2010

It Takes a Village

I have IRL friends.

(For those of you IRL friends who read my blog but are so IRL that you don't even know what IRL means, that just means in real life.)

Sometimes when I see my IRLs, I shower, I put a little lipgloss on, wear the newest (least stained) clothes, pull myself together a little so I don't look like a General (so far from) fresh from battle.

I moved back to Florida to be nearer my largest collection of IRLs, because being a mother is harder than I expected and I just didn't (still don't!) think I was enjoying my life to the fullest because I was feeling so lonely while I did it. I missed the people I spent my life making relationships with, and it was just all magnified with Boom Boom's travel schedule, and the remote location we were living in (remote from my network) or the temporary places we were living in, and being outnumbered, overpowered and outdone by these lively children.

And even though I am now in my most familiar surrounding with the people I am most comfortable with and all the resources I wanted? I still have a hard time overcoming my daily mommy challenges, because this is seriously the hardest I have ever worked in my life.

The nature of having any kids is being held hostage to their schedules, moods, physical/mental/emotional ailments, being tired from packing, wiping, dressing, undressing, chasing, redressing, loading up, unloading, corralling, lugging, chasing and lifting and let me tell you something OBVIOUS - no one wants to do that for any other mother.

Well, except for another mother that can feel her pain.

Yesterday I was supposed to go to the beach with these 2 - which HAS GOT TO BE the most packing/prepping/tiring thing I can imagine for a day trip. And when I woke up to Eden screaming and Madee hollering as she skiddered down the hall I just didn't think I could do it.

Like, maybe I couldn't even get out of bed.

I texted my sister Emily.

::OMG please you HAVE to HELP ME!:: (or something to that effect)

I did blog stuff, I fed the kids. I tried to talk myself into or out of something.

An hour later my mom called.

I don't remember exactly what she said, but when I DO know she said I could bring the kids by and drop them off for a couple hours and that I didn't have to take the kids to the beach. And just knowing that she was 20 minutes away and wanted to help me lifted me up a little.

Or actually, a lot.

I texted my mommy friend and told her I couldn't make it to the beach.

And felt relieved.

This mommy friend? She's totally a new IRL friend.

And do you know what she texted back?

Something about it "taking a village" and she was bringing her nanny so we would have extra help, and she would bring the lunch and toys and all I had to do was get my kids in the car and drive.

And do you know what folks?

I put that screaming baby back to bed for a nap and pulled together all my loads of beach crap and whatever food we did have on hand and got those kids lubed up and suited and loaded in the car.

And I was SO glad I did.

At some point of the drive, windows down, music playing, I basked in the sounds of my kids in the backseat saying "Beach!" and "Boat!"and "Water!".

I was reminded of outings with my grandmother.

At some point, when I was laying in the shallowest of water, watching Madee and her buddy fling sand at each other (there's someone for everyone!), soaking in the warmth of the sun and playing splash with my little one, and I could hear the cicadas and the ocean and this hum of a motherhood so much greater than just my own.

Part of me wanted to grab my camera, but I just laid there and splashed and breathed and soaked it all in like so much water sparkling/sun shining/sand castle building, knowing that this was mine, all mine. And liking what I saw.

It takes a village.

And I just don't feel so lonely anymore.


The Corbett Kid. said...

some days when you want to cancel plans because your kids are being their not-such-angel selves, and you really dread taking them anywhere ? sometimes those plans end up being the best outings and you end up being really glad to have stored them in the memory bank.

Leah said...

Love this post. Love. And get it? Boy do I ever.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could of been on the beach with you! Sounds like you had a good day and I so, so, SO can relate to the not feeling like doing anything at times. You are doing great momma!

Marcy said...

It does take a village... we just spent 10 days visiting family, and now that we're back I have this sadness in my heart wishing we could just live in Austin along with almost our entire family. Instead, I'm working on trying to build that village for us here... Glad you have a support network, and that you're meeting new mamas who're helping build a bigger village for you. Still... I don't think anything ever makes this work "easy!"

Jerseygyrl said...

LOVE this entry! Miss you all terribly..You know you have a get out of jail free card at my house... It's already been too long.. After my obligations out of town I am just showing up if we don't set something up, deal? And ANYTIME you need me call, ya hear?!?

From ya IRL sista from anotha mista

litanyofbritt said...

OMG 4 hours at the beach takes 3 days to prepare for. I how I feel ya. Then I try to back out last minute ad get talked into it anyway, and wind up having a good time. And a sunburn. And on those days the kids got to bed early, so, win!

Family Sized Fun said...

yes britt!
my back still hurts from sunburn!

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